Vanilla ass Viennese

Why hello there. It has been a while. I know I am pure trash matlakala. A hoe needed to get her life together with a young breakdown and rebuild but, a hoe is back and a hoe is baking. What are we baking today, you may ask? We are baking Vanilla Viennese cookies. I found them to be a better short bread cookie but let’s get into that later.

Aite cool, so I’ve been getting crapped on all over the place about not baking and yea yea, I heard you but a girl had to take a few personal days. Ok fine, personal months. I finally got out of my funk and missed baking and writing like crazy. It just so happened that when I got my spirit back I had to assist babysitting my adorable monster nephew and decided to make this a family affair. I packed up my kitchen and drove down to my sisters’ place to bake there. And here we go…



  • 200g slightly salted butter, softened
  • 50g icing sugar
  • 200g All Purpose Flour
  • 2 tsp cornflour
  • ½ tsp baking powder


Coating (Optional)

  • 100g dark chocolate
  • 2 tbsp. sprinkles



How we make this bitch

  • Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius and line baking trays with baking paper (if you don’t have baking paper, grease the trays sufficiently)
  • In a large bowl, beat sugar and butter together to form a fluffy and pale consistency, approximately 5 minutes. Add vanilla then beat again until fully incorporated.
  • Sift in flour, cornflour and baking powder into the butter mixture. Fold until fully incorporated.
  • Spoon the dough into a piping bag with a large star shaped nozzle. Proceed to pipe 5cm swirls onto baking parchment leaving 3cm between each swirl.
  • Bake for 8 – 12 minutes, checking on the cookies at the 8 minute mark, until cookies are a pale golden colour and baked through. Allow to cool completely on a wire rack.
  • While cookies are cooling, temper chocolate.
  • In a double boiler, gradually melt 2/3 of dark chocolate in a bowl. Once just melted, remove from heat, stir to ensure all of the chocolate is melted and smooth.
  • Add the remaining ½ of solid chocolate to melted chocolate and stir together until solid bits no longer melt.
  • Dip cooled cookies into the chocolate, add sprinkles and allow to cool on a wire rack in the fridge.
  • Enjoy once chocolate is set.


What my punk ass found

Ok, I know I say this all the time (maybe because it’s true) but fuck, these were so easy to make and so few ingredients. I didn’t even need eggs which was perfect because my sister never has eggs at her house and

This shit was mad buttery and delicate and crumbly and amazing. I see no flaw here. I’m adding this to my Christmas list, I’ll expand later. It is such a delicate cookie that if you try touch them while they are still warn, you can just say goodbye to the damn cookie at the same time. While dipping the cookies, I got a bit overzealous with the chocolate and basically dunked the entire thing in…goodbye cookie.

So the cookie really stands alone because its actually good. I dipped a few of them in chocolate but my sister insisted that I leave a bunch unchocolated for her. My nephew loved them even without chocolate, he took about four and got real cranky when I told him he couldn’t have anymore. This cookie beat the test, enjoyed by old lady and child alike, I’m the fucking winner.

Tips. Get a larger star nozzle for piping, I used the one that I had for icing and man, what a let down. I list a lot of the beautiful lines while baking. A larger nozzle will allow you to retain the dramatic effect and keep the rosy shape. It took me a few twirls to get the technique right so don’t get discouraged if the first few look like turds, we will get through this together. Finally, these can go from unbaked to Bitch I’m Cremated real quick, start monitoring them from the 8 minute mark and remove as the edges begin to brown.

Ok, what I loved about these cookies, other than being easy, is the versatility. Pipe them into hearts, dip them in chocolate, sandwich them with butter cream and jam. These hoes are fun. I’ll be making these this Christmas and enlisting the tiny hands of the kids to help out. This is great because they get to have fun, feel like they helped out and get out of their parents hair for a bit, my nephew is three (I’m curious as to how long I can hold his attention).

Go forth and bake these hoes.


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