Nasty ass applesauce cookies

All I can say is “What the fuck”. Just what in the entirety of fucks?

DISCLAMER: Do not make this shit, it’s nasty. This is for you to laugh at me and not to torture yourself with.

Ok, so here I am feeling super exotic and spicy I bought a cookie book and thought to try one of the recipes inside. “ooh, look. An apple sauce cookie. I like cookies, I like applesauce. Add some cranberries? This will be amazing” It wasn’t. Lord, I don’t know what I had expected of them, but they really were not that.

Ok, I’m going to post the recipe below and if you can spot where I fucked up or how I should make them rather, I would really appreciate it. Let’s go then.

The ingredients of the nasty

  • 115g butter
  • 60g brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 300g All-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 225g unsweetened applesauce
  • 2 tablespoons water

The method behind the nasty

  • Preheat oven to 175 degrees Celsius
  • Mix dry ingredients, excluding sugar, together and set aside
  • Beat egg and sugar until fluffy. Once fluffy add one egg and mix until fully combined.
  • Mix one third of dry ingredients followed by apple sauce, continue process until fully combined. Add water if the mix is too dry.
  • Drop a teaspoon full onto prepared baking sheet for 12-15 minutes.
  • Once baked, allow to cool on cookie sheet.

All the things about the nasty

Guys, I don’t know. I tried tracking back my mistakes, the only thing I did differently was make my own apple sauce because I couldn’t find any in store. Maybe that was the coup de gras of an already shady cookie, maybe I deserve this for not following the recipe to the T, maybe I deserve this.

The apple sauce was amazing, those Fuji Apples and molasses are the plug. I really should have just made an apple pie and not this shit.

This thing was not a cookie. It tasted of straight out of the oven while still warm because it had the texture of a scone. Don’t get me wrong, I love scones, but I like scones when I make scones, not when I’m making freaking cookies, that is not the objective. Also, scones are so much easier to make than this abomination.

Why do they look underdone no matter how long I bake them? Why is the taste of apple sauce so faint? What did I really expect? I don’t know ok, I am not perfect and these nasties are proof of this. I don’t even feel like figuring out how to fix them, I just want to throw it away. Ok fine, I’ll try again at some point.

Anywhoo, go right ahead and laugh at me if you will. I deserve it, I mean look how disgusting these shits look…

These are fully baked if you would like to believe me


In the bin where they belong



6 thoughts on “Nasty ass applesauce cookies

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