That F*&^ing Vanilla Cake

Hello there, welcome to another episode of Badi Baked It. Now I know this isn’t TV, but it could be right?

 

Any way boo thang, I am happy to announce that I have baked a Vanilla cake. Well, not really but kinda. This is the first time in approximately five attempts that this fucker has come out right. So, let’s just celebrate me for a second, okay?

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Thanks.

 

I will not lie to you, I really did not want to make this here “vanilla cake”, I wanted to get on to every other cake in my repertoire, that I know comes out perfect every time, but noooooooooooooooo, I chose to do as I had once promised. Here I give you, this DAMN VANILLA CAKE. BTW, that darn curse tried to creep up on me on quite a few occasions, but we will chat about that a bit later. Oh, disclaimer, this isn’t my favourite recipe ever but its super simple, and I am living proof that its damn near fool proof. Let’s get in this baking hun.

What I need?

1 cup white sugar

1/2 cup butter

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder

1 pinch salt

1/2 cup milk

1 cup heavy cream, well chilled

1 cup sifted icing sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 handful strawberries, sliced

How we making this thang

 

  1. Preheat degrees C Grease and flour your cake tins.
  2. In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla.
  3. Sift remaining dry ingredients together then add to the creamed mixture and until incorporated, do not over mix.
  4. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth and velvety looking.
  5. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven. For cupcakes, bake 20 to 25 minutes.
  6. Cake is done when it springs back to the touch and golden brown.
  7. Let the cake cool before removing from tins
  8. Beat cream until frothy then add icing sugar and vanilla gradually while beating until frothy
  9. Layer cream and sliced strawberries on to cool cake and enjoy

 

But let’s chat about this curse and what happened.

Okay, so in the beginning I called this a “vanilla cake” well, it really wasn’t. I used vanilla essence…. I’m sorry I had to do it for two reasons. One, to distract the cake gods so that they would not sabotage me again, two, I just kinda felt like trying out the almond extract for the pure rush. I regret nothing.

 

Cool, now that honesty hour is out the way, lets chat about how everything almost went to shit again but I magically managed to salvage everything as per usual.

First, I began by opening a big bottle of pinotage for courage and peace of mind, lord knows I deserved it. Thank you vino gods. Then I calmed my mind and remembered that I had made a relatively simple vanilla cake for my nephews’ birthday and tracked it down and boom, we had a date with destiny. Is this the most perfect vanilla cake I have ever made? Nope. Is it the simplest? Yes babe, it really is and simple does not mean lame. Vanilla cakes are your friends’ guys. They are super classic and can easily be jazzed up, but that’s not todays lesson, today revolves around simplicity.

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Ok, so let’s chat about my vanilla cake curse. As mentioned above, my first tactical step was to confuse them vanilla gods. It did not work. They saw me. They tried me. I would not let it be. I had to overcome. The first attack on my cake was my chilled red wine trying to fall into my creamed butter and sugar. Stay away Satan. Wine goes into my mouth, not my cake, well not just yet, that episode is still a bit away.

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The gods tried me again when as I was greasing and lining my cake tin, I saw that I had not actually turned the oven on. Oh no lawd, don’t do this to me, things had been so good. Ok, I calmed down. It was not that deep but honeys, I’m fragile ok, not like this, not with this. Let’s make oven on and calm down.

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Ok, so the oven debacle has been handled with style and grace then I realise, “Shit, this cake is going to stand out for a while”. This doesn’t seem so bad, but I can only fit one tin in my oven at a time while avoiding burned sides. The longer the cake waits outside, the more air it loses and the “tougher” it becomes. Okay Cake Gods, you have bested me. Guys, if you can get two cake tins and your oven can fit both comfortably, go for it, you are blessed. I have two tins and a tiny oven, I have no time for silly errors like not turning on an oven. It really was not the end of the world, but I noticed that the second layer to go in was not as airy and fluffy as the first.

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My final fuck up was the cream frosting, boy did I use too little sugar. Guys, use equal parts sugar to cream. You need it to be structurally sound and for the layers to hold up nicely.

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Any who the cake was delivered to a darling at her braai, because you know, braais and cakes go together so well *rolls eyes* but hey, I baked a cake, and someone has to friggen eat it, amirite? Well it was well received save my disaster with the cake.

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A bunch of helpful tips comin at ya

  • Beat your butter until it is as light as possible
  • Don’t over mix your cake, mix until everything is just incorporated or else cake can lose air and get chewy
  • Use parchment paper on the base of cake for easy clean up
  • Bake both layers at the same time if possible
  • Let the cake cool completely, I leave it overnight
  • Chill whisk and bowl before whipping the cream
  • Cream frosting is best eaten on the same day
  • If your cake is ugly, like mine, hide it with icing sugar or cream.
  • Drinking a big bottle of wine helps with these thing

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P.S. I’m sorry for my disgusting overuse of “chat” I’m just really enjoying it today.

3 thoughts on “That F*&^ing Vanilla Cake

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